Karma Against The Machine

Karma Against The Machine by Shan L Scott

Have you ever been wronged by someone close to you? By a complete stranger? Have you been hurt so badly that the event changed core parts of your personality and how you move through the world? I would wager that for a large population the answer would be Yes. Multiple times. And there is a reason I only say ‘The Majority’, and not ‘Everyone’. But I will get to that a little later, perhaps it will be another post entirely.

From this understanding of ourselves being hurt or wounded in any capacity, it is only natural that we desire to see a certain kind of balance restored. To be vindicated, for justice to be served. For many of us, this is called ‘Karma’. The question I have often asked is, ‘Who Deals the Karma?’ I would look to Newtons Third Law of Motion for a beginning to an answer for this question.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

This is certainly observed in traditional physics as we have observed it for centuries. This doesn’t necessarily take into account recent studies in Quantum Physics, which is a whole other kettle of fish, though it is not irrelevant to the conversation. Perhaps this is a subject best explored at another time. It’s something I’m only beginning to understand I don’t feel educated enough to comment on it. It is also a phenomenon observed in human behaviour, though sometimes the enormity of the reaction can outweigh the action, and vice versa. We are a complicated species.

But back to cause and effect. There is a certain balance to the world. We see it in nature, in ecosystems, how animals, plants, insects, fungi, water, heat and everything else works together to maintain the environment, perfectly balanced. Everything and everyone is provided with what they need. A frog may be eaten by a snake. The snake eventually dies and its body gives nutrients to the soil. A plant grows from the soil and its flower feeds an insect, that insect is eaten by another frog.

And so, the cycle continues.

We, as humans, often see ourselves as external to these cycles. That we are beyond what some may see as the barbaric yet finely tuned balance of the natural world. This superiority is ultimately what leads us to hurt, offense and misunderstanding when it comes to our interactions with one another. The cycles of our behavioural ecosystems are vastly different in to the frog and the snake in many ways, but they exist nonetheless. We are, in the end, a microscopic cog in the vast machine of human history, yet we believe we are vital and important when viewed through our own pinhole cameras. And we are important, in our own way. In the same way the frog is important to the snake, and the snake to the soil. Our entire lives are a sequence of cause and effect. Some call this The Butterfly Effect. It’s a fascinating concept.

Yes, the world around us shapes us. Every experience compounds, one on top of one another and in turn it subconsciously informs how we respond to the next event. The way we respond, or react, in turn, affects those around us, and how they respond and react to their own next experience. Our mental, physical an emotional health is part or the greater human machine, and if nothing changes, the cycles continue as new cogs are added to the engine. And so, we keep on going… Being true to ourselves and behaving in accordance with our conditioning. We perform and respond in ways for no other reason than ‘That’s the way it’s always been done’, without giving a second thought to the harm we are causing.

There is another saying that some are fond of, ‘A leopard doesn’t change its spots’. I take this to understand that some humans are incapable of change. And this may be true in a percentage of the population who are born with or affected by the human machine in such a way that they develop what some term as a personality disorder. I don’t believe the concept is entirely true though.

I have been unfortunate enough, or perhaps fortunate enough, to have had a number of these destructive personalities in my life. Some were involved with my formative years and some my later life (and some still today), their actions and my response influencing my every thought and action as my life progressed. How I thought about myself, how I viewed others. The conditions I placed on concepts like what was required of me to be deserving of love and loyalty, or that I was not allowed to say no, that I couldn’t have boundaries or enforce them. These were all behavioural patterns buried within my psyche from before I could even speak or walk. They were enforced by fear, through violence, abuse and secrecy.

Fortunately, I’ve been able to disengage from these people for the most part. I’ve learned to say no, and to understand that there is another way to think and feel about myself and the people around me, in a more informed way, objectively and make decisions about wanting to be a part of whatever is taking place. I have boundaries, and I enforce them.

It’s through this objective lens, and through taking a step back from my emotional response that I’ve been able to learn a few things about my own behaviour and find a level of peace I didn’t know was possible, despite the turmoil and grief surrounding my younger years. I’m not always successful, I still struggle with my emotions (especially when I’m tired) but I have more of a conscious awareness now. I can step back and say to myself, ‘Oh, this is why I’m reacting life this.’ And I can choose to change my response, despite the harm someone is trying to inflict. The person inflicting the harm may only behaving according to their lived experience, and that is their journey. It doesn’t mean that I have to engage with them though. I can choose to walk away, and that always feels nice.

All of this ruminating now brings me back to my thoughts on Karma, and if I want to see justice for the harm done to me. Keeping in mind that I have also caused harm to others, whether consciously or not, and how I would like to see that balance restored. I will receive the karma for my actions, we all will. But there is still that important question.

Who deals the karma?

For some, Karma may involve a living judgement, as we see in the courts. We may feel karma has been dealt when someone is punished for their actions. In some cases, humans will see Karma as a freak incident that causes pain to the one who wronged us, and in seeing the person in pain, we feel vindicated for all the wrongs inflicted on us. For some, it feels ‘right’ to mete out the Karma ourselves. In my opinion this is not Karma, it is vengeance, and is a whole other aspect of my next point of discussion. I believe ‘receiving Karma on dealing out our own idea of Karma’ is definitely possible.

For background, I am a person who requires a certain amount of evidence to understand and quantify my life. I can connect dots from my past experiences and others life stories, I believe I am quite open to a lot of information, even if it’s conflicting. Any stories can be true at once. We tell our stories based on how we’ve felt while the event was happening. Another person who went through the same incident may tell it in a completely different way. I like to look at the similarities in these tales, rather than the contradictions, and I feel this is where a grain of truth lies. I am good at spotting patterns. Correlation doesn’t always equal causation, however sometimes it’s a little to uncanny to ignore.

As a storyteller, and one whose primary focus is the unexplained, I enjoy hearing about individual’s experiences that cannot be quantified by current models of science, and try to find the connections between them. Over the years I have become interested in NDE’s, or Near Death Experiences.

Some may discount NDE’s as the DMT our brains release at the point of death, or some fanciful notion humans fabricate as a trauma response to the ordeal they’ve endured. These both may be correct. NDE’s have been studied, however. Minds such as those of Dr. Raymond Moody and Dr. Bruce Greyson have documented and studied these experiences for decades. For me, there is one particular aspect of these experiences that intrigues me. This is what NDE survivors call ‘The Life Review’.

It is interesting that this part of the Near Death Experience is reported by a majority of survivors, folks who have died and returned. People from different cultures, who speak different languages. Those with differing faiths (or no faith), age groups and genders. People who have never met, some who have had the experience recently, or many decades ago before the internet and easy access to this information was available. They report the same or eerily similar occurrences.

The Life Review is interesting because it’s not a point where others judge us, as may be described in many faiths over millennia. It’s the point in our existence where we must judge ourselves. It is a point of personal accountability. It’s the time we get to relive our lives, every experience, every word we spoke, every action we took, but from the point of view of the person, and in some reported cases, the animal we were interacting with in that moment. We get to feel how that soul felt when we said the hateful thing. The physical and emotional pain of a slapped cheek, or a hungry belly. Our own cause and effect is revealed to us, for however long it takes, so we can understand in the intimacy of our own souls how we walked through the world and the impact we made. The nice part of this is we also get to understand how our words and actions made others feel good. The way we healed a hurt. Even when we didn’t realise we were doing it. A kind word here, a smile there, a handful of coins in a buskers hat. Even the smallest actions can move mountains.

Once I noticed this pattern in the stories of NDE survivors it got me thinking, it doesn’t matter whether the people who hurt me see justice or punishment in this life. Perhaps when they have left the realm of the living they will have to be accountable to themselves. Perhaps they will do so beforehand, but it is not for me to decide. Those who have harmed many will have a lot to account for. And it doesn’t bring me joy or pain to know or think this, it merely provides an understanding that the choices others make during their lives is their choice, and they will at some point, understand how those decisions affected the people around them. I can choose to be a part of it, or I can remove myself from their presence. They will continue to do the things they decide to do, and their judgement will be their own. My vengeance is not required.

Even if this Karma isn’t met, the machine will keep turning, its gears grinding for however long humans continue to walk upon our gorgeous planet. But we will all end up part of the ecosystem that feeds the plant, that feeds the insect, that feeds the frog. And I will have lived the remainder of my life without dragging around a ball and chain imposed on me by anyone else. I choose to experience joy, to love others, and lift others up instead of bringing them down. A life well lived as best as I can manage it.

The only thing that is required of me in this life, in my own opinion, is to leave a mark on the world, however small, that is not one of harm. I choose to lead with love, to try to help others in what little way I’m able. And that is enough for me. I still get mad, I still get upset. This is part of being human. I try to make sure I’m getting upset about the right things though. And when something is too big, too overwhelming and too painful, I put it out of my mind or remove myself entirely, until such time that I have the energy and fortitude to feel and act on it in a way that is productive and useful.

I don’t always succeed. But I try. And I think that’s the most important thing.