Who Are We? Random Rambling of a Curious Mind
I’ve had so many thoughts about what I would like to share today… there seems to be so much to say, to think through, to hypothesize about. For a synaptic thinker it feels like all of it is important and necessary but can be hard to put together cohesively and in a way that makes sense for everyone. So, I think I’m going to do the thing that some close to me know me for best, and that is to ramble…
Folks who are close to me know that every topic of conversation is another rabbit hole for me to dive into, where every grain of soil, every hanging tendril of root in the burrow is yet another piece of information that is woven into the web of information that is forever growing inside my mind. I liken my brain to the underground city of Derinkuyu, it has random interconnected spaces, hidden rooms, nobody is sure how deep it goes but exploring it is an exciting and sometimes bizarre experience. You never know what is going to come out of it.
I love to learn; it’s my favourite pastime. I don’t forget things easily either – except for names, sometimes – and the reason for that is not lost on me. What intrigues me most about when I meet someone is not their name, but who they are, how they make me feel, and how they demonstrate both of these things through their actions and behaviour. Sometimes the feeling of being around certain people (either positive or negative) will override the brief mention of the name. It is the feeling that stays with me, the thing that lingers and usually what I remember you by, even if I’ve forgotten your name for the moment. It’s one of my quirks, or foibles, call it what you will.
We are a vastly complex species in so many ways, and yet we are inherently simple and predictable in many others. We want to be perceived as unique, and be loved for it, and yet we desire to be part of the crowd, to fit in, to feel accepted and be a part of something bigger. The trouble is when we start to believe - or are told - that we must be one or the other. Both things can be true at once; it is the joy of beinga member of an intelligent species.
Hoever... intelligence exists in multiple forms, there is nuance and interpretation required. How we move through the world and the way we present ourselves is demonstrative of our intelligence and the many versions of ourselves we allow to be perceived are merely pieces of a puzzle that nobody ever gets to view it its completeness. Sometimes we don’t even put all of those pieces of ourselves together and perform a properly honest and raw examination of who we are. I'm reminded of Zoolander after the humiliating walk-of with Hansel where he asks the question, "Who am I?"
And I guess we all have a lot to ponder, and perhaps we should ask the question... Who are we?
What is it that makes me ‘Me’?
What makes you ‘You’?
At what point in our lives are we carved into the people we are today? And do we remain the rigid statue of fired clay some of us appear to be, or can we be more like pliant and continue to morph through our entire lives. I like to think of it as the latter, we stretch and change and grow through all the seasons of our lives, we bend like plasticine... kind of like Gumby.
Gumby is a whole other philosophical rabbit hole for another time though...
Science can offer us several answers on the formation of a personality, and they can feel appropriate and we might understand the basic concepts. We are born, we are raised, we are shaped by our experience and the influence of those around us. Being born in a certain part of the world may mean you grow up with certain belief systems. It will feel right, you will be resolute, yes, these are the facts. This is reality.
The friend you met on the golf course, or at work, or at school may have been born somewhere else entirely. Their belief system is different, out of phase with yours. But your friend believes it. They are resolute. Those are their facts. That is their reality. And neither of you will be wrong, and yet in each others eyes, both of you will be.
Our entire lives are a construct, built on foundations of history, stories and tradition. Not all the history is correct, and not all of the stories are true. These are also an interpretation, flavoured by the life experience of the person telling it, the historian recording it, or the archaeologist interpreting it. Truth is as nuanced in this regard as it is in the way our personalities were formed. We are grafted into history with these tales and they become part of the careening chronicle of the world and its strange and sometimes violent progression. These things feel normal to us, it’s the way it has always been.
Most of us like our lives to stay the way they are. Change is uncomfortable, many of us thrive on patterns and routine. And even if we are uncomfortable, we can be fearful of change simply because it is the unknown. We already know how to deal with the discomfort, it is familiar. We know what it is, we understand it and we know how to deal with it. We can decide to do things differently though. We have free will. We can do things differently, if we choose, and change the outcome entirely.
Change and spontaneity may seem bold and exciting to some of us until we are faced with doing it ourselves. Then it becomes frighting and fraught with danger. To behave in a way that is out of character can feel unsafe, there is a level of risk, and in today’s world and the plethora of social systems we live within, risk is often viewed as a negative. And it definitely can be in many ways… but how transformative and exhilarating it can be as well!
It's exciting when we are brave enough to apply for the job we think we’ll never get, and then we’re hired. When we have a fear of heights and then climb the tallest bridge or building and find the fear metamorphoses into courage, and then into joy… and we wondered what it was we were ever afraid of. And when we tell the person we care about just how we feel, and find that they feel the same for us… those are some risks worth taking.
Some risk in life is necessary, or we do not progress. Sometimes it doesn’t pay off, and we appear to fail. But failure is just a synonym for opportunity, its something we can learn from, and in my humble opinion, learning is one of the most exciting things we can do. It drives me crazy to not know how something works, or why people follow certain traditions, where those traditions come from, and why we hold to them so tightly. I love seeing human history explored into its infinite potential as new discoveries are made, discoveries that expand our understanding of ourselves and that demonstrates how our behavioural, spiritual and cultural patterns emerge in the same ways across ancient and modern cultures.
Our human species is vastly misunderstood. I feel we have only scratched the surface of our potential and unfortunately the risk to some in us finding the answers is as great as the benefit we as a people will achieve by knowing them. I am optimistic about where we go from here, I am hopeful for our younger generations who seek answers to questions we haven’t even thought to ask yet. And I am eager to keep my mind open and am ready to absorb everything that comes from that exploration.
Our world is bigger and wilder and stranger than anything we can imagine, and some of us imagine some pretty incredible things. As we move into this current season of the unknown, as the butterfly of uncertainty flaps its wings in one part of the world, and tragedy and turmoil expand on a massive scale, it is our hopefulness that will help us survive. Our inquisitiveness, our curiosity, our care for one another. Our ability to ask ‘What if?’ and to find the potential in every moment.
So, when we take the puzzle pieces of ourselves and put them together in a quiet moment of solitude and really examine the bigger picture of who we actually are… When we face our own truth, in our beauty, our vulnerability, our flaws, our strengths, our need to love and be loved… In those quiet moments that might feel like an eternity, we might understand that the complexities of the puzzle that make us unique only serves to form a much simpler yet greater picture that connects us all as a species… It is in this acknowledgement that we begin to find a path together.
It's interesting where my mind will go when I allow it to wander. I could probably go on for pages, however I think I must end my musings here. It is, after all, just a ramble. An outpouring from the spark that animates me, drives me, and humbles me.
Also, the ending of this discussion is not for me to decide. The conversation doesn’t need to end at all, really. You can do with it what you will. Think on it yourself, talk about it with others, debate anything and everything I’ve said. Freedom of thought and feeling is inherently our own, you may choose to agree, or disagree. It is of no mind to me.
The beauty of the mind is that nobody knows what is in our thoughts until we choose to express it, and those thoughts are inherently perceived in the way we choose to do so. You may choose to use words, or music, or art… the way you use your voice is entirely for you to decide. Sometimes saying nothing is equally as powerful. Choose your moments, choose the ears you speak to. Choose the safe path.. or take a risk.
This is your life. When you reach the end of it will you regret not climbing the bridge? Will it hurt your heart to have not said the thing that could have healed a soul or prevented a tragedy?
We are all butterflies flapping our wings…
Much love x
Comments